Wherefore art thou, Manuel?

Oh Manny, how could it come to this?

You've been one of the Red Sox's crown jewels for near 8 years now. Yes there have been innumerable accounts of your man-child antics, but your perpetual .900+ OPS and 150+ OPS+ have always been enough to excuse your brain-farts in the field and your temper-tantrums off of it. That is until, seemingly, now.

While people have decried your deplorable range, I have always espoused your ability to play balls off the Monster with prescient foresight and the merits of your quick release when throwing towards the infield.

When journalists have cited you as a reticent clubhouse presence, I have held that you get payed to play, not talk to journalists. As an added note, I can't blame you. I've been a journalist, and I've spent considerable time with my peers, time enough to know that we WILL misquote you, we WILL take you out of context, and that we WILL ask you the same 4 boring questions every night without fail.

Fans have railed against your apparent desire to take games off. I can understand where they're coming from: you get payed $20 million to play a game most of us have lovingly played for free at some point, and your team needs you. I do have a response to that. Stadiums create lots of jobs, and not just for the 25 men who run around in goofy uniforms 180+ nights a year. Hundreds of people work directly for the team and the concessions company, and thousands more benefit from the teams presence. Without the millionaire players the guys pouring your beer selling you mini-bats and foam fingers, the ushers, and the scores of people across the region who make their living selling Red Sox merchandise would be in dire straits. If a 16 year veteran of 2050 games with a history of knee problems, who is a vital part of the most beloved sports team in America would like a night off, I can understand.

Yet, this time it cannot be. You presume too much, Manuel Aristides Onelcida Ramirez. You've attacked the management before, but not with this much publicity. Actually, you've gone past metaphor and into actuality: you actually ATTACKED management, as well as your fellow players. Earlier this year a similar incident occur ed when Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon beat up on his GM, Ed Wade. Now, I know a superstar, future Hall-of-Famer pushing a traveling secretary and a crappy middle-reliever pushing a GM are slightly different, but they shouldn't be. Shawn Chacon was cut instantly, as you should have been. I cringe at my own cowardice and admit that I would hesitate at such an action, at the very least we would lose a valuable asset while receiving nothing in return. This is troubling, my friend. I know you're uncomfortable playing as a lame duck, what with the Red Sox delaying the decision to pick up you $20 million club-option for '09, but you're not helping your case.

As I'm typing this, your team flounders about on the field against the Angels. They're running circles around your team. Los Angeles has long been labeled "pesky" and "bothersome" and "irritating" due to their speed and daring on the basepaths. Well, they're about as irritating as a school of deadly pirhanas: VERY. Your Red Sox have committed 3 errors in the 6th inning alone, 4 for the game. They've thrown the ball into center, they've let high flies fall in, and they've looked listless, zombie-like. Even Josh Beckett, King Badass of Toughmotherfuckeria, looks resigned.

This all seems so familiar... It brings to mind 2004, when the team's play was sputtering as a star player sulked and pouted about a lack of a contract. It was so long ago that the haze of time has clouded his name from my memory. Yoma? Lamar? Noma... That it, NOMAR!!! Oh I remember Nomar Garciaparra (Nomahhhh to the locals). Things have worked out really well for him since he was run out of town on a rail.

All said, I doubt there is very much that can be done to repair your relationship with the team. Us fans will probably always have a soft spot for you in our hearts, but at this point I would not be upset if you were to don another teams colors. I would instead feel bittersweet relief; not relief to see you gone, but relief to see the team better. Again, I doubt it's possible to replace your offensive production through a trade but, while intangible (a dirty word to many educated readers), chemistry must count for something, right? I would feel relief for YOU, Manuel. To see you in a happier place, even if that place is not with me, would placate my troubled heart.

And so as you fly out to deep left-center, I realize that it could have been your last at-bat as a Red Sock.

If it is, our paths will certainly cross again, but it will be different. We will all be wizened by the ravages of time. In that case I say bring on the 24 year-old slugging wunderkind Jeremy Hermida, or established and underrated star Jason Bay, or whoever else may come, and for you, my precious left-fielder, I wish nothing but the best.

But if you aren't gone, then I pray that you can find it within your heart to forgive the Red Sox, and put up fucking MONSTER numbers so that they HAVE to pick up your options. I want you here, Manny, I really do, but if it cannot be, then who am I to fight fate.

Love,
Sox