Meeting on the Mound: Waxing Poetic for Training Camp

Rox: So how bout that Sox v Cubs game this week?
Sox: There's one of those?
Sox: I thought they were done with interleague
Rox: Yeah, they're calling this one an all-star game instead
Sox: lol
Sox: Bitter that all of your Rox suck?
Rox: seriously, 7 players from each team
Rox: 7
Sox: Well, theoretically, we do have the most wins in the AL
Sox: so our whole team should be the all star team
Sox: Baseball is a results based business
Sox: Well
Sox: we're tied with LA for best record in the AL
Sox: but we have two more losses
Sox: Probably because we went to Japan like a week before anyone else started playing
Sox: so split it down the middle
Rox: If thats youre reasoning then why isnt LA throwing em in that fast?
Sox: 12.5 Red Sox and 12.5 Angels
Sox: In reality, it comes down to the Sox winning the World Series and being ridiculously popular
Sox: not to mention we're kind of rabid
Sox: I don't think ALL of them were the most deserving
Rox: Tricky business
Rox: You know what the Red Sox can never be though?
Sox: what?
Rox: The National League Champs
Rox: Rox-1 Sox-0
Sox: Like we'd want that anyway
Sox: Seriously, the National league is a joke
Sox: The AL tore your shit up in interleague play
Rox: Dratz
Sox: I mean, the Rockies are 9 games under .500
Sox: and still only 8.5 out of the race
Sox: The west especially is embarrassing this year
Rox: The strength isnt in the standings
Rox: Don't you know its all about the Wild Card?
Rox: I mean, even Lyndin's put the Rox up on that one
Rox: sorry, Lindy's
Sox: Ummm, you're 14 or so back in the wildcard
Sox: it's easier to win your division than the wildcard, at this point
Sox: But look at last year
Sox: a lot can change
Rox: True
Rox: I still hate the DBacks thoguh
Sox: more like D-BAGS
Sox: ohhhh
Rox: shit son
Rox: You dropped that one like Julio Lugo
Sox: Didn't you hear? Julio Lugo got dropped
Sox: Hurt his leg
Sox: Now they got Jed Lowrie up for him
Sox: Good thing too
Sox: After the Celtics won with an all-Black starting 5, the other Boston sports teams better step it up with the racial make up of their line-ups
Sox: gotta get Whitey in there somehow
Rox: true dat
Sox: but really, it's not hard to see Colorado rebounding
Sox: I mean, Francis, Tulo, and Hel-boy get healthy
Rox: Yeah, gotta get the troops on the field to win
Rox: You know what I realized today?
Sox: what
Rox: NFL in like, 4 weeks
Sox: Jesus John Madden Christ
Sox: I love training camp
Sox: I love the opportunities it gives me
Sox: to fall in love with 5th round draft picks and undrafted free agents
Sox: to dream about the new offensive schemes
Sox: to contemplate the merits of the 3-4, and agonize over whether the Pats should just give in and run a cookie-cutter 4-3
Sox: to hear all the little background stories of 80 different players
Sox: the drama of roster-cutdown days
Sox: I simply cannot wait for the hilarity of pre-season games
Rox: Damn son, As the Gridiron Turns
Sox: PATRIOTS-RAVENS
Sox: THIS TIME, THE STARTERS PLAY 8 SNAPS
Rox: lol God
Rox: Ummm, lets see
Rox: I think the Broncs are up against the Texans (Houston, not the Saints)
Rox: It's Lynch's last year too, bout breaks my heart
Sox: has he announced his retirement?
Rox: Yeah, but he agreed to stay on one last bone crunching season
Sox: Damn son, that 2005 Madden Football Denver Broncos team you fell in love with is fading away
Sox: C. Bailey
Sox: A. Mobley
Sox: J. Lynch
Sox: J. Plummer
Sox: Who was the running back that year?
Sox: Oh wait, it doesn't matter
Rox: I think we still had the Bells
Sox: Asking for the name of a Denver starting RB is like trying to find the names of the girls in the magazines under your daddies bed
Sox: Ultimately, they're going to end up with 1,000+ yards and something like 7 touchdowns
Sox: no matter who they are, where they're from, where they were drafted
Sox: I was talking about the girls there
Sox: not the running backs
Sox: the point is, the job's gonna get done
Rox: Whatev, its all about the passing game, I mean, we still have some mad receivers
Sox: Ummm, Marshall and who?
Sox: and didn't Cuts just get diagnosed with diabetes
Rox: Sadly
Rox: He just didnt grow enough of a beard not to get it
Sox: Are you longing for the days of your scruff-brother?
Sox: Jake the Snake is tearing up the amateur handball circuit
Rox: Damned right
Rox: I always knew he had an arm
Sox: Still, at least you have some intrigue
Rox: Who has more intrigue than the Broncos? We were involved in a gang shooting
Sox: That was in poor taste
Sox: Darrent Williams was a bright young star
Rox: The blood of our football team is forever in the land we love
Sox: don't go all William Wallace on Me
Sox: The only questions about my team are whether we're going to run the ball a little, or at all
Sox: I mean, we might not even bother
Rox: Well, not that it matters anyway
Rox: The Pats could go the whole season without a loss and still not go all the way
Rox: Which is a terrible reality
Sox: The defense is OLD
Sox: which is why they went young with it in the draft
Sox: A linebacker in the first, which to Bill Belichick is the equivalent of Barrack Obama choosing Strom Thurmond as his running-mate
Sox: then two corners, and a few more linebackers
Sox: The D-Line is NFL middle aged, leaning towards old
Sox: The DB's are old
Sox: if Wheatly and Wilhite pan out, and Meriweather keeps improving, the secondary could get somewhat less fossilized
Sox: and the linebacker position is currently in a state of flux from ancient to young
Rox: It all makes sense on that end, but having 4 quarterbacks?
Sox: Not gonna happen
Sox: they'll cut one, I'm sure
Sox: that Brady kid will probably stick
Rox: I don't know about him, I heard he was trying to weasel out before his 2010 contract expired
Sox: Well, I don't think it's true, but I wouldn't be surprised
Sox: He'd probably love to play on the West Coast, where he grew up
Sox: and he's won the titles
Sox: I'm sure he could get a ridiculous deal with the Niners or someone
Sox: the guy they just drafted, O'Connell, probably gets a free pass, since they want to develop him
Sox: so they'll cut either Cassel or Gutierrez
Sox: The both suck, but Cassel has experience and sucks, whereas Gutierrez is new and sucks
Sox: I could see it going either way
Rox: Only time and the preseason will tell
Sox: Don't forget, the rosters are at 80ish men right now
Sox: they'll be 53, plus practice squads on Opening Day
Sox: I've actually had some Patriots withdrawal lately
Sox: I've been away from the civilized world, so I'm way behind on minor roster moves
Rox: It's tough being on the frontier
Rox: I've been subsisting on the Intense Football League and the Alaska Baseball League
Rox: Hey man, youre hometown legend Bill Lee pitched up here a couple weeks back
Sox: I know, I read all about it on that interweb sports log we supposedly write
Sox: He's a gas isn't he
Sox: Is Bo Ruud still on the roster?
Sox: Have they found a position for Matt Slater yet?
Sox: Oh man, lucky you
Sox: I've already found my pet project for the summer
Sox: BenJarvus Green-Ellis is his name
Sox: 4 names in two
Sox: he was a beastly RB at Mississippi
Sox: and I could care less how good he could be in the NFL
Sox: rooting for the rookie with the Greatest name in the NFL
Rox: Jesus, they should take an additional man off the field when they put him in
Sox: I know
Sox: We'd have to take someone off with a short name
Sox: to get bang for our buck
Sox: like Moss, or Evans
Sox: I mostly just want to hear stuff White announcers stumble over his multi-faceted moniker
Rox: ha
Rox: That will probably be the best part of the broadcast
Sox: I think the Pats are just going for lingual based team
Sox: Screw All-Pro, we want All-Name
Sox: Dick Seymour
Sox: Tank Williams
Sox: Jabar Gaffney
Sox: Ellis Hobbs III
Sox: Larry Izzo
Rox: You've always had a soft spot for Hobbs
Sox: Me?
Rox: At least for his name
Sox: I'm fucking through with him
Sox: I made excuses for him for years
Sox: He'll develop
Sox: His small stature doesn't matter, he has great closing speed
Sox: he doesn't suck, they just HAVE to throw his way with Samuel over there
Sox: After watching him get completely bamboozled on that last Giants touchdown, he is dead to me
Sox: He wasn't even facing the right way
Sox: I think we could put a traffic cone out there and it would have a better chance of covering a receiver than Hobbs
Sox: it goes Anything With A Pulse > Traffic Cone > Dominique Foxworth > Ellis Hobbs
Sox: You remember Foxworth, right?
Sox: Baileys sacrificial lamb
Rox: Dont knock Foxworth
Rox: he was an instrumental player in the founding of the Darrent Williams Memorial Center
Sox: They couldn't throw to the right, so they ended up tons of balls his way
Sox: He might be a great person
Sox: but he's the proverbial deer in the headlights
Sox: you could pump-fake in his direction at this point, and he'd burst into tears
Sox: It's really a testament to Bailey
Rox: Through his tarnish Bailey shines, you can't cover both sides of the field with Bailey
Rox: well, you could, but the league would probably go apeshit
Sox: You figure they would just put Bailey on an island and roll all the coverage the other way, but Shannahan is stubborn as hell
Sox: or maybe he knows something we don't
Rox: I wish I could see into his mind
Sox: It would probably be like the Aliens in Indy 4
Rox: Hes gotta be thinking something, I mean, last year was the second year in 10? that we had a losing season
Sox: you'd just disintegrate into a million pieces
Sox: A lot of people think he's arrogant, but I still think Shannahan is just as smart as any coach in the league
Sox: Bill Videotapeachick included
Rox: Didn't they work together or under the same guy at some point anyhow? Who was that?
Sox: Belichick worked with Tom Coughlin of the Giants under Parcells
Sox: All I know is Shannahan has outsmarted Big Bill a couple of times
Sox: You know what I've decided?
Rox: what?
Sox: I'll lay off Ellis Hobbs once Brett Farve REALLY retires