"Dirty Birds" is right

I have nothing against the Falcons franchise, or Atlanta in any way, shape, or form, but seriously: Jason Elam is one of the best 3 things going on in training camp?

Elam makes a living by kicking a ball, which in this country doesn't generally make you a star. Kickers play a role on the team, but they're largely replaceable, and they're virtually never a selling point for your team (the exception being Adam Vinatieri while he was an elite kicker, and that's only because Boston needed a white guy to love, see Welker, Wes).

Roddy White, meanwhile is best described as such: he is someone. He wins the Mike Furrey award as the receiver you picked up in your Fantasy league last year because SOMEONE on that horrible team had to get the touches. Having Roddy White as your most potent offensive threat is like giving your party's General Election nomination to John Kerry: you're not giving it to him because he's great, you're giving it to him because he's THERE.

This doesn't really project well for the Falcons immediate welfare on the field. These guys might challenge last year's Dolphins as one of the most inept teams to ever take the field.*

*For my money, last years Rams were actually worse than the Dolphins. The Dolphins had a harder schedule, and they were at least semi-competitive in some of their games. The Rams won 2 of their games against the 49ers and the Falcons, who were essentially as bad, plus a mediocre Saints team. Miami beat the Ravens, who earlier that season had pushed New England to the very last play to beat them. Fuck it, the 'Fins that 3-0 loss to the Steelers in those terrible rainy, mucky, slippery Heinz Field conditions... An 0-10 team persevering the weather to push an eventual playoff team like that, that's a Man's Game to me.

-Sox