Meeting on the Mound: Waxing Poetic for Training Camp

Rox: So how bout that Sox v Cubs game this week?
Sox: There's one of those?
Sox: I thought they were done with interleague
Rox: Yeah, they're calling this one an all-star game instead
Sox: lol
Sox: Bitter that all of your Rox suck?
Rox: seriously, 7 players from each team
Rox: 7
Sox: Well, theoretically, we do have the most wins in the AL
Sox: so our whole team should be the all star team
Sox: Baseball is a results based business
Sox: Well
Sox: we're tied with LA for best record in the AL
Sox: but we have two more losses
Sox: Probably because we went to Japan like a week before anyone else started playing
Sox: so split it down the middle
Rox: If thats youre reasoning then why isnt LA throwing em in that fast?
Sox: 12.5 Red Sox and 12.5 Angels
Sox: In reality, it comes down to the Sox winning the World Series and being ridiculously popular
Sox: not to mention we're kind of rabid
Sox: I don't think ALL of them were the most deserving
Rox: Tricky business
Rox: You know what the Red Sox can never be though?
Sox: what?
Rox: The National League Champs
Rox: Rox-1 Sox-0
Sox: Like we'd want that anyway
Sox: Seriously, the National league is a joke
Sox: The AL tore your shit up in interleague play
Rox: Dratz
Sox: I mean, the Rockies are 9 games under .500
Sox: and still only 8.5 out of the race
Sox: The west especially is embarrassing this year
Rox: The strength isnt in the standings
Rox: Don't you know its all about the Wild Card?
Rox: I mean, even Lyndin's put the Rox up on that one
Rox: sorry, Lindy's
Sox: Ummm, you're 14 or so back in the wildcard
Sox: it's easier to win your division than the wildcard, at this point
Sox: But look at last year
Sox: a lot can change
Rox: True
Rox: I still hate the DBacks thoguh
Sox: more like D-BAGS
Sox: ohhhh
Rox: shit son
Rox: You dropped that one like Julio Lugo
Sox: Didn't you hear? Julio Lugo got dropped
Sox: Hurt his leg
Sox: Now they got Jed Lowrie up for him
Sox: Good thing too
Sox: After the Celtics won with an all-Black starting 5, the other Boston sports teams better step it up with the racial make up of their line-ups
Sox: gotta get Whitey in there somehow
Rox: true dat
Sox: but really, it's not hard to see Colorado rebounding
Sox: I mean, Francis, Tulo, and Hel-boy get healthy
Rox: Yeah, gotta get the troops on the field to win
Rox: You know what I realized today?
Sox: what
Rox: NFL in like, 4 weeks
Sox: Jesus John Madden Christ
Sox: I love training camp
Sox: I love the opportunities it gives me
Sox: to fall in love with 5th round draft picks and undrafted free agents
Sox: to dream about the new offensive schemes
Sox: to contemplate the merits of the 3-4, and agonize over whether the Pats should just give in and run a cookie-cutter 4-3
Sox: to hear all the little background stories of 80 different players
Sox: the drama of roster-cutdown days
Sox: I simply cannot wait for the hilarity of pre-season games
Rox: Damn son, As the Gridiron Turns
Sox: PATRIOTS-RAVENS
Sox: THIS TIME, THE STARTERS PLAY 8 SNAPS
Rox: lol God
Rox: Ummm, lets see
Rox: I think the Broncs are up against the Texans (Houston, not the Saints)
Rox: It's Lynch's last year too, bout breaks my heart
Sox: has he announced his retirement?
Rox: Yeah, but he agreed to stay on one last bone crunching season
Sox: Damn son, that 2005 Madden Football Denver Broncos team you fell in love with is fading away
Sox: C. Bailey
Sox: A. Mobley
Sox: J. Lynch
Sox: J. Plummer
Sox: Who was the running back that year?
Sox: Oh wait, it doesn't matter
Rox: I think we still had the Bells
Sox: Asking for the name of a Denver starting RB is like trying to find the names of the girls in the magazines under your daddies bed
Sox: Ultimately, they're going to end up with 1,000+ yards and something like 7 touchdowns
Sox: no matter who they are, where they're from, where they were drafted
Sox: I was talking about the girls there
Sox: not the running backs
Sox: the point is, the job's gonna get done
Rox: Whatev, its all about the passing game, I mean, we still have some mad receivers
Sox: Ummm, Marshall and who?
Sox: and didn't Cuts just get diagnosed with diabetes
Rox: Sadly
Rox: He just didnt grow enough of a beard not to get it
Sox: Are you longing for the days of your scruff-brother?
Sox: Jake the Snake is tearing up the amateur handball circuit
Rox: Damned right
Rox: I always knew he had an arm
Sox: Still, at least you have some intrigue
Rox: Who has more intrigue than the Broncos? We were involved in a gang shooting
Sox: That was in poor taste
Sox: Darrent Williams was a bright young star
Rox: The blood of our football team is forever in the land we love
Sox: don't go all William Wallace on Me
Sox: The only questions about my team are whether we're going to run the ball a little, or at all
Sox: I mean, we might not even bother
Rox: Well, not that it matters anyway
Rox: The Pats could go the whole season without a loss and still not go all the way
Rox: Which is a terrible reality
Sox: The defense is OLD
Sox: which is why they went young with it in the draft
Sox: A linebacker in the first, which to Bill Belichick is the equivalent of Barrack Obama choosing Strom Thurmond as his running-mate
Sox: then two corners, and a few more linebackers
Sox: The D-Line is NFL middle aged, leaning towards old
Sox: The DB's are old
Sox: if Wheatly and Wilhite pan out, and Meriweather keeps improving, the secondary could get somewhat less fossilized
Sox: and the linebacker position is currently in a state of flux from ancient to young
Rox: It all makes sense on that end, but having 4 quarterbacks?
Sox: Not gonna happen
Sox: they'll cut one, I'm sure
Sox: that Brady kid will probably stick
Rox: I don't know about him, I heard he was trying to weasel out before his 2010 contract expired
Sox: Well, I don't think it's true, but I wouldn't be surprised
Sox: He'd probably love to play on the West Coast, where he grew up
Sox: and he's won the titles
Sox: I'm sure he could get a ridiculous deal with the Niners or someone
Sox: the guy they just drafted, O'Connell, probably gets a free pass, since they want to develop him
Sox: so they'll cut either Cassel or Gutierrez
Sox: The both suck, but Cassel has experience and sucks, whereas Gutierrez is new and sucks
Sox: I could see it going either way
Rox: Only time and the preseason will tell
Sox: Don't forget, the rosters are at 80ish men right now
Sox: they'll be 53, plus practice squads on Opening Day
Sox: I've actually had some Patriots withdrawal lately
Sox: I've been away from the civilized world, so I'm way behind on minor roster moves
Rox: It's tough being on the frontier
Rox: I've been subsisting on the Intense Football League and the Alaska Baseball League
Rox: Hey man, youre hometown legend Bill Lee pitched up here a couple weeks back
Sox: I know, I read all about it on that interweb sports log we supposedly write
Sox: He's a gas isn't he
Sox: Is Bo Ruud still on the roster?
Sox: Have they found a position for Matt Slater yet?
Sox: Oh man, lucky you
Sox: I've already found my pet project for the summer
Sox: BenJarvus Green-Ellis is his name
Sox: 4 names in two
Sox: he was a beastly RB at Mississippi
Sox: and I could care less how good he could be in the NFL
Sox: rooting for the rookie with the Greatest name in the NFL
Rox: Jesus, they should take an additional man off the field when they put him in
Sox: I know
Sox: We'd have to take someone off with a short name
Sox: to get bang for our buck
Sox: like Moss, or Evans
Sox: I mostly just want to hear stuff White announcers stumble over his multi-faceted moniker
Rox: ha
Rox: That will probably be the best part of the broadcast
Sox: I think the Pats are just going for lingual based team
Sox: Screw All-Pro, we want All-Name
Sox: Dick Seymour
Sox: Tank Williams
Sox: Jabar Gaffney
Sox: Ellis Hobbs III
Sox: Larry Izzo
Rox: You've always had a soft spot for Hobbs
Sox: Me?
Rox: At least for his name
Sox: I'm fucking through with him
Sox: I made excuses for him for years
Sox: He'll develop
Sox: His small stature doesn't matter, he has great closing speed
Sox: he doesn't suck, they just HAVE to throw his way with Samuel over there
Sox: After watching him get completely bamboozled on that last Giants touchdown, he is dead to me
Sox: He wasn't even facing the right way
Sox: I think we could put a traffic cone out there and it would have a better chance of covering a receiver than Hobbs
Sox: it goes Anything With A Pulse > Traffic Cone > Dominique Foxworth > Ellis Hobbs
Sox: You remember Foxworth, right?
Sox: Baileys sacrificial lamb
Rox: Dont knock Foxworth
Rox: he was an instrumental player in the founding of the Darrent Williams Memorial Center
Sox: They couldn't throw to the right, so they ended up tons of balls his way
Sox: He might be a great person
Sox: but he's the proverbial deer in the headlights
Sox: you could pump-fake in his direction at this point, and he'd burst into tears
Sox: It's really a testament to Bailey
Rox: Through his tarnish Bailey shines, you can't cover both sides of the field with Bailey
Rox: well, you could, but the league would probably go apeshit
Sox: You figure they would just put Bailey on an island and roll all the coverage the other way, but Shannahan is stubborn as hell
Sox: or maybe he knows something we don't
Rox: I wish I could see into his mind
Sox: It would probably be like the Aliens in Indy 4
Rox: Hes gotta be thinking something, I mean, last year was the second year in 10? that we had a losing season
Sox: you'd just disintegrate into a million pieces
Sox: A lot of people think he's arrogant, but I still think Shannahan is just as smart as any coach in the league
Sox: Bill Videotapeachick included
Rox: Didn't they work together or under the same guy at some point anyhow? Who was that?
Sox: Belichick worked with Tom Coughlin of the Giants under Parcells
Sox: All I know is Shannahan has outsmarted Big Bill a couple of times
Sox: You know what I've decided?
Rox: what?
Sox: I'll lay off Ellis Hobbs once Brett Farve REALLY retires

Who Am I?

Hi, my name is Sox, and I'm an alcho... I mean porno... I mean BASEBALL addict.

You haven't heard much from me for a number of reasons, ranging from the every popular "I was in a third-world country when this blog was started" to "I went straight from that third-world country to a summer camp where I worked for 3 weeks." Either way, I suddenly have access to cable T.V. and the Internet again, so I can bring you my brand of cursory sports analysis.

Look for me around the parts a lot more often, which won't be hard, since with this post I've increased my contributions to this site by an infinite amount.

-Sox

Legend Revived in the Land of the Midnight Sun

The dead walk, hundreds of people dress themselves as large gourd-like squashes and bumblebees to run through the streets late into the night. Line dances erupt in central blocks of town and somewhere on a baseball diamond a 62 year-old man steps onto the pitchers mound for the most improbable game of his life.

Yup, Fairbanks, Alaska is a pretty unique place this time of year. The summer solstace marks the longest day of the year, and in a state awash in darkness for 6 months, people take the opportunity to get out seriously.

Somehow I ended up in Growden Park, home of the Alaska Goldpanners, at about 10:30 Sunday night. The sun shone brightly as F-16s boomed over the rickety grandstands and the game came under way. The Goldpanners took the field and approaching the mound was none other than the now gray-haired, slightly hobbling Bill "Spaceman" Lee.

The last time the Spaceman pitched at a Midnight Sun game was 1967, hsi last major league game with the Expos was 1982. In an age of 6-7 year major league careers, Lee was a tad past his prime. But he had pulled on a jersey, #337 (Lee upsidedown), and come to play some baseball.

The first inning went quickly, Lee only let a single hit get by him. Every successive inning people chanted "Lee, Lee, Lee" as he took the mound, again and again and again. He had the crowd laughing by scuttling his feet at players on base 40 years his junior. He'd catch a ball from the second baseman after a play, tuck it under his arm and beligerently flap his glove and ask for the ball as if he never got it.

Around 12:04 the sun finally dipped below the horizon, and the darkest period of the day had passed. Anywhere in the lower 48 states the time could have easily been mistaken for 6 or 7 in the evening. The game went on and the field lights stood idle.

His pitches slowed down considerably as the game wore on, but Lee saved face with a fearsome change-up and experience. With each inning he hobbled out the chants grew louder, one drunkard yelling out for minutes at a time "Spaaaacccceeeman!" It wasn't until the top of the seventh that ol' Lee was taken out of the game to a standing ovation.

At the end of the game The Spaceman walked off the field with a cigar in his mouth and another win to add to his career. It was 2:30 in the morning and the sun was just beggining to rise up from behind the mountains.

Rox

Basketball Loose at the Seams

It's Super Bowl XIII, the FLorida sun is beating down on the stadium, fans are crying out in the stands. They want blood, they want action, the want play action and up-the-gut glory. You're a Pittsburgh Steeler, and on the other side of the field the Dallas Cowboys defense is already deployed.

Terry Bradshaw comes into the huddle with the play.

"Alright boys. You linemen block, you running backs run and you receivers look over your shoulder to see if I'm throwing. Ready BREAK!"

Of course this didn't and never would happen at the Super Bowl, so why in the NBA Finals did the LA Lakers and Celtics fall apart in the latter part of the third period?

Things started off well, both teams were executing offensive and defensive maneuvers, screening, passing, blocking and supporting. But something happened after the Celtics one point defecit weakened.

Both teams began rushing back and forth across the court in swarms. No formations, no coverage, nothing but a mob. It wasn't long before Cassel threw Lakers' guard Vujacic on the floor wrestling for the ball.

For a game that determined the outcome of the Finals, the play was decidedly poor. Only the performance of Paul Pierce made the game remotely professional in caliber.

Luckily the refs finally got into the game. The following was overheard in the bar of a remote Alaskan outpost. "They're calling fouls left and right now. Before they were letting men get knocked over, stomped on and flushed down the toilet. What a joke."

The series continues now in Boston, where only a miracle will save the Lakers from a stomping. Expect bedlam in the streets.

In other basketball news WNBA player Becky Hammon is labeled a traitor for joining the Russian olympics team. Hammon enjoys a dual citizenship between Russia and the US. The last time I checked NBA players return to their original countries to compete in the olympics (think Yao Ming) and none of them are called traitors. Please.

Rox

Rockies Pitching on Track?

I about pissed myself today, a win on pitching? Unbelievable. This is the same Rockies that couldn't keep a pitcher in the World Series for more than 5 innings, that swapped out 10 pitchers against the San Diego Padres in the wildcard game. Get me some new undershorts.

Leftie Jorge De la Rosa proved his worth today with 5 shutout innings, allowing only one hit and one walk. Releiver Jason Grilli gave up a hit and a walk while Taylor Buchholz merely hit a batter. Brian Fuentes closed the game for his tenth save in 13 opportunities.

Depth on the mound has always been a weakspot for the Rockies, but De La Rosa proved that while he's not found a starting spot in the majors he's deserved every shot teams have given him.

One first deserves another, as the Rockie's superior pitching also gave them their first win against Chicago in franchise history. The Rockies have now beaten every team in the Major Leagues at least once. Their last place position in the National League West may not be adequate for the Rockies after these turn arounds.

Rox

Lakers Eat It, Facial Expressions No Help

Well, it looks like the Boston Celtics have managed to come out on top again in Game 4, winning 97-91 over the LA Lakers. After a dismal first half of poor defense, sloppy shots, missed free throws and fouls aplenty the Celtics managed to cut a 24 point deficit to put themselves within a win of the title.

LA dazzled sports fans with an early game point-blitz but what surprised me most were the innumerable faces the Lakers managed to make. Even Jack Nicholson donned a few tonsol twisting contortions. If only variety of expression won games.

Sasha Vujajic looks more excited than a pre-pubescent girl at a Miley Cyrus concert here. Either that or he's realized that Ray Allen forgot the Vaseline. Either way, he's going to need some serious counseling before making a return to the court.

It's no surprise that Kobe Bryant's celebrity status has gone to his head. Unfortunately the officials at tonight's game didn't get the memo that he cannot actually be called on blatant fouls. No wonder he was so astonished throughout the game.

I'm not sure what Vladimir Radmanovic is more surprised of here, that his team managed to lose the biggest opening quarter lead in history or that they have cameras that can take photos from this angle.

It looks like Boston is on its way to another championship this year. And why not? They deserve it. The Celtics have been playing well this year and have earned the win.

I can't wait to see the look on Kobe's face as his team is ground into the court.

Rox